Red Carpet Drive
is a song about an ending. An ending to the "drive" to be "Red Carpet" ready, a striving for perfection.
It was written on the lowest night of my life.
I was consumed by an eating disorder and fuelled by perfectionism that had completely taken over. It was taking away my life, my husband, my work, it was confusing my kids and taking over my body and mind.
Any person dealing with an addiction or disorder becomes a master at hiding it, so much so that we create two lives that tragically coexist; the person we really are and the actor we portray. Like an actor, we walk down that red carpet that is our life, with perfect posture, a perfect smile, while giving the impression that we have it all together, that we are living a perfect life. However the real me was suffering and couldn't admit it. By the time I admitted I needed help, no one took me seriously because I had fooled them all. I realized perfectionism was just as much an illness as any other and I needed to acknowledge, admit and let it go.
This song describes how admitting it to myself and others would make it the last time I would suffer this alone. My life is not a red carpet and I've let go of the drive to be red carpet ready.
There is only one me. The real me.
That I want to share with you.